How To Deal with Office Yanks

 

Most of us have had the misfortune of working alongside a jerk. Odds are you've had to work with a difficult or even detestable person, someone who is irritating or a pain to work with, but a real jerk that truly annoying person who repeatedly says or does something that makes your temper flare and your skin crawl. Think the backstabber in the office or the co-worker who is constantly taking credit for something good you did but when you did something wrong even just for once they will blame the hell out of you till you lose your self esteem-- the kind of person who will pass their workload to you because they're too busy on being absent or having a good time loafing around. The jerk who is a perfect angel when the boss is around, but shows his or her true, nasty colors as soon as the boss is gone.

They're like pandemic, you simply can't avoid them.

Putting up with a jerk in the workplace can cause an awful lot of stress. A recent study of SWS showed that 79% Filipinos report feeling stressed on the job--costing employers more than ₱200 billion a year in absenteeism, incorrect filling, missed deadlines- it lowers the productivity, cost of medical expenses, employee turnover, and more. And guess who causes a lot of this stress? You're right: all those office jerks.

But of course you can't avoid them because even though most of us are in work from home set up, you can't get run away from them as they will always communicate with us in various media form channels. You have no left with other choice but to deal with them. 

• Keep your distance (emotional aspect too). It is a normal response to ignore the office jerk to avoid confrontation. But avoiding the problem doesn't solve it- just reduce the interaction. Confront the offending person by pointing out those things they do that are keeping you from getting your job done, set boundaries. However you choose to confront the office jerk, keep it professional and nice. No name calling, raised voices, or blaming. But if you can't take it- go to the nearest coffee shop or your so-called- free zone and take your time to release your annoyance & stay in control of your emotions. Be a bigger person because obviously that jerk don't know how to be one.

• Building socialism. There is power in numbers. It is one of the most powerful tools, it will not only make you more effective but can help big challengers you may encounter, such as changes in organizational leadership including the office jerk. Should  meet to come up with appropriate office behavior rules- no finger pointing allowed. There will be far more value attached to the rules when everyone is involved in choosing them and the office jerk will be less likely to feel personally attacked.

• Talk to your leader. Get a higher-up to step up and remind and enforce proper behavior in the office and hold accountable those who are not following the rules of conduct. If you have a boss who seems oblivious to such issues (this happens far too often), you need to speak to him/her about what behaviors you have been seeing that are inappropriate. Speak for yourself, not for others (unless others would like to join you in speaking with the boss) and refrain from mentioning the office jerk's name (this is not a bash-the-office-jerk session). Simply state that the staff needs a reminder about appropriate behavior and the need for accountability for unethical, office jerk behavior.

• Make it as your motivation. When a jerk/ difficult person upsets you, make it a motivational ground to work harder and say to yourself: "Once I get promoted, you won't bother me anymore."

• Learn the art of "deadma". If you're the one being ignored that would be hurtful and so with the jerks. Just imagine pouring out all their emotions and yet you don't reciprocate. A motivational coach once said that ignoring people intentionally or silent treatment is 'psychology of manipulation'. It may send good or bad signals depending on the reception of the person, but also has benefits for you like it's an effective way to send message without involving in a heated argument, a silent way of saying "You're a toxic person and I don't want to talk to you. Do your job & go away." The less you care, the happier you'll be.

What makes difficult people scary is that they affect us. They make us angry, they make us feel sorry, they upset us, they affect our moods, they suck out our emotions, they make us sin sometimes. More accurately I would say, we allow them to affect us. Well, just choose to be happy. 

What interesting about office jerks or difficult people is that they are still people, just difficult though. And they're difficult to understand because they are not us. They have stories to tell. Burdens wearing them down. Pains that demand healing. Shattered dreams. It's too bad that these people appear to be ogres who smell like onions. 

What's sad about these people- they find it hard to admit that they need someone. They may not even know they need someone.. because they're arrogant, too much pride, or in denial.

It's annoying because they choose to be like that, obviously they don't want to find a way to help themselves and we are the ones to suffer because of their toxic personalities, they're out there making our lives miserable. 

But at the end of the day it's a matter of choice. Focus on and pursue them everyday. Celebrate daily milestones as you are every day a day closer to making them real. Then, you will have little or unimportant "things".

WFH/ office work then becomes a comfortable "real-app" game against these jerks. We have to learn how to deal with them properly or else they will crush our souls and win daily.